Thoughts by Emily

Overcoming Anxieties and Trying Something New

Well, My baby turned 3 last Sunday! Having my youngest get so big is kind of bitter sweet. I am trying to cherish each milestone that my kids hit, but I can’t believe how big my baby is getting! After having three very active little boys, I am so grateful that I am able to raise up a little girl too. Brielle is such a girlie girl, which is so much fun. She has been anxiously waiting for the day she could start ballet. We told her that she could start, when she turned 3. It happened, and so has ballet.

Brielle’s first ballet class, which is more of a music and movement class, began this past Thursday. It was so fun to get her all dressed up, and she was more than thrilled. She kept saying, “I’m so exciting!!” My mother-in-law gave Little Girl a leotard and some little ballet slippers, last summer. Now was Brielle’s chance to put them to use. I did her beautiful long red hair, up into a bun, snapped a few pictures, and off we went! My boys have more anxieties and apprehensions than Brielle, but with this being her first real experience, I wondered how she’s do. My boys all have a difficult time trying something new – especially in front of other people. Brielle wasn’t near as apprehensive, going into a new room full of people she didn’t know, as my boys would have been. Our dance studio doesn’t allow parents into the room, but has monitors in the waiting room, where we can watch what is going on. Brielle did great, and is eagerly waiting for ballet, again this week.

Since it was time to start Brielle at ballet, I thought I would take the opportunity to start my oldest in Karate. Karate and ballet are in the same studio, which is handy. The twins have gymnastics, and I wanted my oldest to have something to work on as well. He is my anxious one, and one who has a hard time with self control, so I was very nervous as to whether or not he would go in. I have heard that Karate can be great for dealing with anxiety, as well as gaining discipline and respect. It was just a trial, but the studio was kind enough to allow my son to borrow a gi. There is no way he would have gone into the class, if he wasn’t dressed like everyone else. I could tell that Kelman REALLY wanted to do Karate, deep down. For Kelman to want to do something, and actually do it, are two very different things. He has a very difficult time overcoming his anxieties, to do the things he is intrigued by.

There was an older boy, who actually taught some of the groups, who was so absolutely sweet to my boy, and tried to calm him, and show him to the dressing room. Getting changed was the first hurdle. We actually got Kelman into the class, which had a ton of kids in it. There was an autistic boy from the previous class, who was having a bit of a meltdown (and screaming fit). The sensei (teacher) at the moment, was an older woman, who was having to hold the boy down, to calm him down. This made Kelman so nervous, that he started to cry and slipped out of the room. I thought, Oh No, now how are we going to get him back in. Getting him in the door the first time, was a feat. The woman saw that Kelman was nervous, and crying, and pulled us into her office. She explained to Kelman that the little boy was autistic, and that he had been hitting her. She said that she was trying to protect herself and the other kids, by trying to calm him down. Holding kids down was not a normal thing. This talk really started to calm Kelman down a bit. He was a bit freaked out by it all. She was sweet, and took him back into the room, and told him he could just sit and watch for a bit – and to join in if he was comfortable. I sat back and waited, and sure enough, he did everything that was asked of him. I was so proud of him! Parents aren’t allowed to go into the Karate room either, but could watch on the monitor. I often get tears in my eyes when Kelman overcomes some of these anxieties that hold him back from so much potential. I think Karate will be so good for him, and I am eager for his next class (tomorrow). He later on, told me that he really liked Karate. It takes a lot for him to even tell me things like that, so I am more than pleased! I didn’t get a picture of Kelman in his gi this week, but I will!

I am no pro at helping our kids to overcome their fears, but I think it is important to stick at it. If you have an anxious child, who wants to try something new, but is afraid, it really could help to have another child help to encourage them. I was very impressed with the older boy at Karate, and I think it really helped put Kelman at ease. Each time he tries something new, I think it will become a little easier.

Do you remember the first time one of your kids got to do something they have been eagerly waiting for? Or when they maybe overcame a fear? Perhaps you are the one who has a difficult time trying new things. I’d love to hear about it!

About the author

Emily Buys

9 Comments

  • I know exactly how you feel, our little one will be starting Kinder this fall & our oldest will be graduating high school!

  • Oh my gosh, what a memorable time that was! My kids have always been really excited about new things like karate, but they always come back to give me “one last hug” before they go off to participate–I think it’s so cute that they’re independent but attached to mom still a bit too! 😉

  • My twins turned two the 15th and i cried a lot that day seems time moves quicker when you habe a child

  • I have lots of anxieties with my son Devon who is 4 so I know how you feel, Trying new things for him is so hard, he is shy and he has speech problems so it makes it that much harder to communicate but we get him involved in sports which he loves.

  • Hey Emily, I am not a mother but I do have three nephews and one niece. I was excited to find out that my sister was having a girl and truly is a girly girl (loves pink, makeup, pretend cooking). She started ballet when she was three years old (because she wanted to) and started around the fall and sadly she didn’t want to continue once fall was over. She did like it but in the end she decided she didn’t want to go. It really depends on the child, your child may end up liking…or she may not…be patience..cheer her on ^_~

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