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My Decision for Weight Loss Surgery

My Decision for Weight Loss Surgery

I’m going to embark on something that could be considered taboo, and I haven’t come to this decision lightly. Ever since I made my decision for weight loss surgery, I have asked myself if I would blog about it, or be vocal about it. At first I was adamant that I would keep this bit of information to myself, because I didn’t want to be scrutinized or judged harshly. In the end, I decided that I would write about my decision and my entire process, because it is taboo. I don’t want to stir up controversy by any means, but I hope to be of some help to those who may be considering weight loss surgery, or who have battled with their weight, the way I have.

I know some people consider any form of weight loss surgery to be the “easy way out”. After much research, I have learned that this is not the case. Before I dive into the “whys”, allow me to share how I came to the decision that the weight loss surgery is right for me.

As some of you already know, I was in an awful, horrible marriage for 11 years. I was a survivor and a fighter. I wanted a family that was whole, for my sake and for my kids’. I kept hoping, praying, and counseling for things to improve, but after 11 years of verbal and emotional abuse (among other things), I chose a better life for my kids and me. I didn’t escape without some damage. 

Over the last three years of my marriage, my weight crept up, up and up. I have thyroid disease which aids in easy weight gain, and difficulty losing weight, but I never let it stop me. Whenever I gained, I would eat less and move more. I always got my weight back down. However, after 8 years of a living hell, and basically parenting another child who was supposed to be my helpmeet and co-parent, I lost my oomph. I began to turn to cookies and treats to fill my emotional reservoir. I felt worthless and lost my desire to care for me. I would diet here and there, but then I got stuck back in the cycle of abuse and emotional eating. For at least three years, I lost myself, my worth and my zest for life. 

I started my blog as a way to help support my family after my ex-husband’s third job-loss. What I didn’t know at the time was that my blog was also setting me up to be able to provide for my kids, from home, without the help or aid of a husband. 

So, here I was, 11 years into a heartbreaking relationship, an icky situation to raise children in, and 70 pounds overweight. 

The first decision I made to get healthy, was to divorce. This aided in the repair of my emotional health, but also my physical health. It was scary, but I know now that it was absolutely the best decision for me and my kiddos. You can read more about that my divorce, here

The second decision I made to get healthy was to lose some weight. I immediately joined a weight loss program, which was fairly successful. However, I found that I had just too much weight, and thus started the yo-yo effect. I dropped weight quickly, then gained it right back. Over the course of the next two years, I joined about six different weight loss programs, in addition to trying clean eating and other health-conscious diets. I could lose weight with each one, but I always gained it back.

I couldn’t understand why dieting and exercising wasn’t working the way it had in the past. I gained weight with each of my pregnancies, worked my tail off to lose that weight, and it worked. Why wouldn’t it work now? 

Clever Housewife family in Hawaii

Now, two years after my divorce, I find myself in a much healthier place, emotionally. My kids are thriving and doing so well, I met a fantastic man who is my helpmeet, and is the most awesome example and teacher for my kids, and I am happy. The only thing holding me back now is my weight and my health. Everything is falling into place, but this one piece. I deserve my best, my kids deserve my best, and my new husband deserves my best. How on earth can I achieve it?

I started looking at weight loss surgery, and doing research. I even attended a seminar held by one of the surgeons I was looking into. I brought my husband with me for an extra set of ears, and then we did a lot of talking, thinking and praying about the decision. 

One key piece of information that stuck out to Keith and me, from the seminar, was that only 3% of people who are 70 pounds or more overweight, can lose that weight and keep it off, on their own. That statistic really struck me because it really made sense with my own self. Many times in my adult life, have I had 50 pounds or less to lose, and I’ve been able to do it. I’d done Weight Watchers, Fit for Life or my own program, and I could get it off. For the first time ever, I made it over 50 pounds overweight, during those last couple of years in my previous marriage. I did it – I hit 70 pounds overweight, and I was STUCK in a vicious cycle. It was so refreshing to hear my surgeon say that only 3% of those people could lose it and keep it off. If you are one of those people, I applaud you! I know it can be done as I’ve seen people do it – but not many. 

pre-surgery selfie

So I enlisted help. I want to be my best self. I deserve it, and my family deserves it. If surgery will help me achieve that, then so be it. I am so ready for this journey, and I hope you will follow along the way. Tomorrow I have my endoscopy to make sure I’m in the clear for surgery, and then we get to schedule a date! It’s looking like the end of February. Stay tuned!! 

About the author

Emily Buys

16 Comments

  • I wish you the best. I pray for a successful surgery and easy recovery. I am glad you are doing this for yourself. No one has walked in your shoes and should not judge you. Please keep blogging about your success with the surgery and your weight loss (because I have faith in you).

  • Praying for you , and God will help you thru this. I had a friend who had it done and she’s doing great with it. I’m sure you will too! Stacey

  • Thanks for your thoughts on this. I’m almost at the same place you are, except waiting for insurance approval. Everything else is a go. My biggest struggle is which procedure is best. I felt more comfortable with the “sleeve” as opposed to the by-pass, but the sleeve is not accepted by my Ins. Co. Now I’m starting to have second thoughts because of having to stay on supplements for the rest of my life. I’m hoping I don’t back down, as I have struggled with my weight the same ways you have. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery and weight loss. My prayers are with you throughout your ordeal.

  • If this is a tool that will help you and you’re comfortable with it, then go for it! You deserve the best and part of that is feeling healthy in every way. I will keep you in my prayers and look forward to hearing about your success. It will be fantastic-I know it! 🙂

  • Have you heard of isagenix? I am not trying to sell you anything! I promise. Yes I do isagenix and yes I am able to sell the product, but let me tell you! It’s only because I believe in it. I’ve bought into many companies to sell their products and have never sold anything! Why? Because I don’t believe in the product. How do you sell what you yourself don’t believe in? I guess some people can do that. So even if you don’t ask for any more information from me, and you go looking elsewhere, that’s perfectly ok. You have to be comfortable! Your decision was huge for you and I respect that! But what if their was a way to get healthier and lose weight in the process? What if you were able to see some amazing results and you could cancel the surgery? I don’t offer the magic solution however, many people who have tried all else and failed, have given this program a chance and finally seen the results themselves that they see so many other having and the results they have been dreaming of! And you get to feel fabulous feeding your body the nutrition it needs. The nutrition it desires! So like I said – yes I may sell this product, but I am not telling you to look to make money off of you. I am trying to offer you an alternative solution to your desires and end result. Please just look and see what isagenix has to offer. If you feel it’s not for you, then I am sorry. However I believe in the product so I had to make sure to say something. Do whatever is best for YOU! Whatever makes you most comfortable. Don’t let others make you feel bad for your choices. Everyone has to feel accepted, but we can’t make everyone happy. I wish you the best whatever you decide! And if/when you go have surgery I hope the best for you and that you have an amazing recovery and I hope you feel amazing and beautiful! You deserve to feel 100% about yourself. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Thank you for sharing your struggle and surgery and I will be following! God bless you for being so open and honest — will be praying for a huge success for you!!

  • That is a bummer your insurance won’t cover the sleeve, Ivy. I opted for the sleeve and feel really good about it. Less invasive, and less possibilities for complications. If my insurance only covered the roux en y, I’d likely do it, because it’s that important to me. No matter which surgery you go with, supplements are a must. Hang in there!!

  • Hi Megan

    Thank you for trying to help me see that there are other options out there. However, I have tried Isagenix and I do love their chocolate protein drinks. They are probably my favorite. I found that I only lost weight on the cleanse days, but every single time I did the cleanse days, I got mean and cranky by evening. It happened every single time so I stopped doing it. My body just did not like the deprivation of the cleanse days.

    The thing of it is, I can lose weight doing most programs, but it’s only some of the weight that I have to lose before I lose concentration. I can stick to a diet for months even, but it doesn’t lose all of the weight I need to lose and then I’m tired of it and tired of whichever diet I’m on.

    Losing as much weight as I need to lose takes a lot of concentration which I don’t seem to have, all while trying to feed my kids regular meals. I hope that makes sense.

    Thank you again for trying to help.

  • I made the same decision and had surgery December 2014. This journey will have its mountains to climb but is so worth the travel! Best of luck!!

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