Thoughts by Emily

Dating After Divorce: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – Meet MORE of the Guys!

Dating After Divorce The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Meet the Men

A couple of weeks ago I decided to start writing about my experiences of hiring a family law and divorce attorney and going through the entire process, but what I really wanted to go over was my dating experience afterwards. So far, it has NOT been pretty! I am also requesting that you all help me come up with nicknames for the fellas. Be sure to read my first post, if you haven’t already, where you can meet the first two guys. I still haven’t found the perfect name for the first guy, except maybe Rebound Guy, but I like Norma’s suggestion of Mr. Selfie for guy number two. Don’t forget to comment with your suggestions.

Now for the next guys….

1. This one is not a fun one. I met a guy online, whom I then met in person. Good looking guy, who was supposedly very active in church, but I think he only wanted one thing. I think you know what that is. This guy was scary because he actually told me he was going to rape me. Then he told me that the next time he sees me (not happening), he would make me give him a BJ. Real charming huh? I managed to get out of the situation without it getting too ugly, but it wasn’t pretty and it was definitely scary. I’ll spare you all the details (especially you, mom).

As I mentioned, I did some online dating. There is a website designed for Mormons to meet other Mormons. You would think there is some security and safety in this, but you would be wrong. Many of these guys portray themselves differently than what they really are. 

2. The next guy I also met online and went on a date. Conversation was slightly dry, but he was nice enough. I just didn’t gather he was interested at all. I called the evening a little short because we seemed to be running out of things to talk about. He texts me later that evening and tells me he wished we could have hung out more. I was surprised and told him I didn’t think he was interested. He assured me he was. So we go out again because I figured I give him another shot. There may have even been a kiss at the end of the night. He then texted me regularly for a couple of weeks and said how he couldn’t wait to go out again. He never asked me out though. Then he would text every couple of days and says, “Hi, how are you?” I respond and then nothing for another couple of days. Then we repeat the same lame question, with no response. No third date. No more real conversation. So weird, right? (Nickname?)

3. How about this guy? 30 year old man who lives at home, has no real job and is in school. An only child too; so no experience with children. He seemed to like me quite a bit, but really? I’ve got 4 kids and he didn’t seem to have a clue what raising kids was like. He’d question my parenting on occasion (via text) and that was enough for me. 

All of these guys were the same religion and I had met them online, just like the first two. I decided to try something different. That’s when a friend told me about Tinder. Mostly a game really. You go on for a little confidence boost to see who swiped right on your profile.

4. I met a Ukrainian guy on Tinder, in person, and just once. Cute enough and definitely some great conversation. Very intellectual, but still a student. Getting ready for law school. No religion, which presents its own issues since I am religious. Also drinks, which I do not. We still keep in touch, but a relationship here makes me a little nervous. Sigh. 

5. Met a super nice guy online. Had very fun and intellectual conversations and met right off the bat. Hit it off so we decided to be spontaneous and plan a fun trip to Disney World together. Purchased our flights and pitched for the hotels and park tickets and everything. Then a couple of weeks before our trip (a week after booking the flight) he drops a bomb that he’s decided he’s leaving the church and doesn’t want to date any Mormon girls. He didn’t know this a week earlier?? UGH! So, I took my oldest son on the trip and had a great time.

6. Are you ready for this one???? I have not been in the dating scene long, but as you can see I’ve had a rough go of it. I finally thought I found a good good guy. Seemed so honest and caring, and non judgmental. The problem? He lives n Florida. We debated the long distance thing and even started to plan him to fly out and meet me. Conversations were so great and we made each other laugh a lot. Then something happened. He turned out to be a pathological liar. One day he is talking about flying out to see me, and the next he is making up stories about his dad being in the ER and getting transferred to another hospital. Even used medical terminology of what was wrong. The next story was about his phone breaking and couldn’t text. Then said he was going to the temple to get some answers about us. Wrote a long thoughtful email about how we could be great together, but decided he could never move from Florida. Cared a lot for me and wanted me to be happy, etc. etc. Sounds like a great guy huh? But then I found out that his dad was never in the hospital and that he never went to the temple to get answers. Who knows what else this douche bag was lying about! Needless to say, we won’t be speaking again.

Alright, there are some guys I’m leaving out but these are the highlights. Let’s hear your nicknames for each of them, and feel free to throw in some for the guys in the last post! Any of these guys the guy for me? Some real winners out there hm? Dating is so scary and so discouraging. Someone tell me there are still good guys out there!! 

 P.S. I JUST remembered another winner!!! Number 7. Local guy. Met online and exchanged phone numbers to talk and text. I only talked to him once. Or rather…..he talked……for an hour and a half. ABOUT HIMSELF! I couldn’t even get a word in to say I had to go. His phone died in the middle and he talked to himself for 15 minutes before he realized I wasn’t there. Called back and talked MORE. I put the phone down on my chest and just said uh huh  when he’d ask if I was still there. The next day I told him I didn’t know men could talk that much. He got all butt hurt so there’s that.

About the author

Emily Buys


  • Hi Emily
    I am really sorry about your tough time. I pray that you will know Jesus Christ, who loves you so dearly and longs to have a personal relationship with you. You don’t have to go to a temple or a priest. You can pray to Him right now and ask Him to help you with all that you are going through. I have been through a divorce, and before I knew Jesus as Lord and Savior, I had an awful time. I am now remarried and we have a blended family. It is not always easy, but as Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

    In John 14 Jesus says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

    Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

    Jesus answered him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

    Emily, do you know God?
    Are you a citizen of God’s kingdom? The only entrance is through His Son, who died on the cross in your place. When you trust Christ as your personal Savior, you’ll be instantly transferred from the domain of darkness into the kingdom of God’s beloved Son (Colossians 1:13-14). All your sins will be forgiven, and you’ll become His ambassador.

    Emily, in Genesis God tells us of his first created human beings. When Adam and Eve chose to sin against God in the garden of Eden, he could no longer have a relationship with them. Because he is holy, pure and just and cannot be in relationship with sinful man unless a sacrifice is made. (Usually a blood sacrifice) In the Old Testament, God gave Moses the law, the Ten Commandments, and His people were to make sacrifices for the sins of the people, thus ‘restoring fellowship’ with their Creator. However, none of this was ever sufficient to earning their way back to God or to heaven. We could never do that on our own because we are so sinful and wicked, so God did it for us. He sent his Son Jesus to die in our place, to be the ultimate sacrifice once and for all. All we have to do is believe that he died for us so we can be restored back to fellowship with our Creator and receive eternal life.

    When you are ready to receive His free gift, all you have to do is pray! You can use the following prayer, or in your own words:

    Lord Jesus, I believe that you are truly the Son of God. I confess that I have sinned against You in thought, word and deed. Please forgive all my wrongdoing, and let me live in relationship with You from now on. I receive You as my personal Savior, accepting on my behalf the work You accomplished once and for all on the cross. Thank you for saving me. Help me to live a life that is pleasing to You. Amen.

    I’ll be praying for you girl!

  • I would probably stay away from tinder. Have you tried any single adult activities? Maybe go, not necessarily to look for a date but to meet other single moms and find support that way. Be sure to carry pepper spray the next time you meet someone from the internet.

  • Em, I agree with Micah. Try some activities. I didn’t have much luck online either. That way you can see the men in a social atmosphere and dare I say make a “righteous” judgement? Don’t get me wrong…I am not condoning judgements. It’s just that you can learn a lot about then by seeing the way they treat other ladies…just a thought. Good luck! And remember just have fun, take your time and enjoy this time to make new friends!!! 🙂

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