Infant Loss

Giving Birth After Infant Loss

Written by Emily Buys

Giving Birth After Infant Loss

My last post on infant loss discussed the decision to get pregnant after losing a baby. If you haven’t already, you can read from the beginning of my story (<–click to read) where I discovered there was something wrong with my baby, and then delivered at 30 weeks, to only have her with us for a couple of days. If you have been following along, then you might already be ready for this next part.

Because my two previous pregnancies resulted in c-section, with the last one being an emergency c-section, I was pre-scheduled to deliver my baby girl, via cesarean as well. The last month of my pregnancy was much more relaxing than the first 7-8 months. I finally realized that I could actually deliver a healthy baby girl. She appeared to be looking good at this point (after having some growth delays earlier in the pregnancy). Her 3 older brothers were ready for her to get here, and to finally have a little sister they could play with.

On May 13, 2009, I delivered Brielle Enise Lyon. Brielle was born nearly a full year after Gianna Rae, whose birthday is May 29, 2008, and death was May 31, 2008. I was very very nervous that Brielle’s birthday would fall too close to Gianna’s, and that it would be difficult for me. Having her birthday a couple of weeks before, is just right. I almost feel a peace about having these two sisters’ birthdays so close to one another. I feel that they must really know one another, beyond what Brielle can tell me.

Brielle was born very healthy 6 lbs 12 oz and 19 1/2″ long. No deformities or problems, other than she stood to become very spoiled!

Brielle was born with long, wavy red hair. She was absolutely beautiful! She. Was. Perfect!! I was happy as a momma could be, and was thrilled to have a little girl to doll up with dresses and bows. This photo above is Brielle just a week or two after she was born, in a dress my mom made for her, and on an afghan my sister made.

Having a now healthy baby girl, after delivering an unhealthy one, is a different kind of experience. I went through a couple of different emotions and behaviors with Brielle, that I wouldn’t have gone through had I not experienced something so tragic just the year before. Not too long after having Brielle, I experienced a little bit of guilt. I wish I could tell you that everything was all pink and roses after Brielle, but I want you to know the real truth. Everyone’s experience is and may be different, but this is how it was for me.

I didn’t experience post partum depression, but I had a little bit of sadness. I don’t believe this sadness was attributed to the change in hormones, but to Gianna – the baby that I was replacing. I didn’t think I was replacing my other baby, but in a sense it was. I wanted what I didn’t have: a baby to hold. These feelings of guilt and sadness didn’t last long as I believed Gianna wanted me to be happy, and to have this other little girl to hold and love.

The other thing I experienced was an extreme amount of love. We all experience this to a certain degree; as I did with my boys too. However, this was different. I did not ever want to let Brielle go. I held her a lot, I kissed her even more, and I was always telling her how much I loved her (and still do). The bond I felt with Brielle was different than that with my other children. I wouldn’t ever want my other children to feel that I love her more than them, because that’s not what it is. I love them all so very much. Brielle was more of a miracle to me, after having to live through such a difficult experience with Gianna. I couldn’t fathom anything happening to Brielle – not now, after what I had been through. There was no way I was going to let that little girl out of my sight. I almost felt as if I had enough kisses and snuggles in me, worth two babies. I had so much lovin’ to make up for, that I didn’t get with Gianna. I think that’s how I would explain it.

Brielle was adored by her brothers, and she adored them!

I am happy to say that Brielle is still healthy and strong, at 3 and a half years old. Gianna is not forgotten, and Brielle even talks about her quite often. I find it very interesting as we don’t bring Gianna up super often, but Brielle will bring her up in random conversation, or to strangers. She will tell people that she has an older sister. Like I said, I believe there must be some special bond there that Brielle can’t explain and will likely forget when she’s old enough to explain. Gianna is and always will be a part of our family, but we can have peace as we are, and knowing she is watching us from above, and that we can be with her again someday!

About the author

Emily Buys

70 Comments

  • Thanks for sharing the whole story. And we’re so glad to have Brielle in the fam – booger that she is. Love her to PIECES.

  • I lossed a baby and it hurts alot kind of wished i would of tried again to get pregant but I was to scared and I missed out. I went full term with maryam and lost her. I still ask myself why and it has been 10 yrs.

    shirley

  • Your story is so incredibly similar to mine and how I feel, it brought tears to my eyes. We lost our son at 27 weeks 11/26/11 and I delivered the most perfect and precious little girl on 11/19/12. I too don’t feel like I can love on her enough, or kiss her enough, or tell her how much I love her enough. Thank you for writing this, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels so much sadness and joy all at the same time. Brielle is beautiful 🙂

  • Your story is remarkably similar to mine. I also lost my fourth child after an emergency c-section at 28 weeks. He also lived 2 days. He was born in May, too. We had our fifth baby in June, a year later. He would have been 30 this year. We’ve had 3 more boys since. The death of a child is a very hard thing to get through, but life just gets better and better. Be happy, my friend and enjoy you little family.

  • I just read about Gianna for the last hour. I have a brother who just turned six and he was born extremely early in an emergency C section and was one pound nine ounces. the same day he had a large brain bleed. We were all told by horrible doctors that if he SOMEHOW MANAGED to survive the night, he wouldn’t make it through tomorrow night because he would be brain dead. We were told this every night for two weeks. After three months in the NICU we got to take him home. After two years he got to go to sleep without being hooked to monitors. I was 14 when all of this happened and it scared me to death. I am now married and I have been pregnant four times and miscarried every time. I’ve had a lot of trouble dealing with it all and I’ve been so scared. troubles with pregnancies, miscarriages, and genetic problems and deformities run strongly in my family. I would never mind a child with everything wrong with them as long as they could feel my love for them. You have made me feel so much better and nobody else has ever been able to do that. It makes me calmer and much more OK with anything my future holds. Thank you so much. You have really changed my life<3

  • Eliza,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and for your very sweet words. I am so glad you are able to find some kind of comfort in my story. I hope that you can continue to have peace and that you will be blessed with all that you deserve!

  • Hi Emily, I just found your blog through Pinterest. A friend linked to your first post about Gianna and I have read her whole story. Thank you for sharing. I, too, know the pain of losing an infant. My son was born in March 2010 and died nine days later. We also had to make the heartbreaking decision to remove life support. Our second son was born three weeks shy of his brother’s first birthday and I can very much relate to what you expressed, that it is pretty perfect. I hope that he might some day talk about his big brother. I also have to tell you how beautiful your kids are, I have a love for red hair, but only one of mine is a redhead!

  • Thank you for sharing Kathryn! I’m glad you found my posts, and hope you are comforted with the knowledge that our little ones are very special spirits whom are waiting for us on the other side!

  • How lucky that you got another girl! I, too, lost a girl (at 38 weeks) after 2 boys. We were encouraged to have another baby and I desperately wanted a girl but God gave us a boy. We love him so much and it has been very healing but I still feel very sad that I don’t have my little girl. Loved reading your story!

  • I just lost my first child October 19th he was born October 15th. Still haven’t received autopsy results but I was told he had fluid around his heart. I never got to bring my son home as he was in the nicu for shoulder distocia. I didn’t get to hold him until after he was gone. I want my baby so bad. I want to be a mom and I plan on trying again. I am just terrified of the anxiety that will come with being pregnant again. I enjoyed reading your story and it provided me with some comfort.

  • I am so sorry for your loss Jasmine! I completely understand the angst you must be feeling regarding getting pregnant again. Be strong and know that it can be very rewarding when you hold that baby in the end. Thank you for having the strength to write. May peace be with you!!

  • I lost my first baby boy at 24 weeks – i had an emergency csection – preterm labor. His little body just wasnt fully developed at that early. I lost him dec 26th 2013. He lived for about an hour and was only about 2lbs. I am hurt and dont know how to survive. The hurt is unbearable. I miss him so very much. I question god and im angry. I got to hold my little boy for a short couple of minutes but i was very groggy due to the rush of surgery they had to knock me out. How does one survive such emptyness and pain and hurt. All i want is to hold him.

  • I am so sorry for your loss Christine! Just give yourself time to heal – physically and emotionally. Whatever it is you are feeling is OKAY and totally normal. You are still recovering from surgery, which makes the grieving worse in my opinion. You are still feeling the pain from giving birth, without a baby to hold. Time will definitely help. Try to hang in there and remind yourself that you are not alone and that YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS! Reach out if you need anything at all!

  • Im so sorry for your loss!
    My daughter passed away from sids. She was 7 weeks. this a few months ago and this is the hardest thing i have to go through. On top of all this im pregnant again im 15 weeks and i dont know how to feel:/

  • I’m so sorry for your loss Takayla! Thank you for sharing with me. There is no right or wrong way to feel. You are grieving and also growing your love for another child. You will likely go through a bunch of different feelings. Try to stay strong!

  • This is the sweetest story. I am so happy God blessed you with Brielle! I saw this in Pinterest and thought id give it a read. You’re very strong, and your family is so beautiful, thanks for sharing.

  • Thank you for sharing your story, it’s such a unbearable sadness to lose a child. We lost our precious baby boy June 25th of sids, he was exactly 1 month old. My heart aches for him everyday. Not to mention the emptiness I feel. I still smell his clothes just to feel him near me. It’s hard to move on with life without him, but we do it. Everyday I deal with different emotions and try my hardest not to drown myself in them. We were able to hold him one last time, which was so hard to let him go again, but we had that last touch and the last many kisses goodbye. I know that I want to try again to have a second chance with another baby but scared of all the what ifs. Again thank you for sharing your story it helps to read what others have been through and how they are dealing with losing a child.

  • Stacie,

    I am so so sorry for you loss. It is still very fresh for you and I hope and pray you are able to find comfort and peace during this very challenging time. Just know that you aren’t alone and these times will get easier with time. Hugs!

    EMily

  • Hi,

    Your little angel is very pretty, god bless her.

    It’s probably odd for me as a guy to be posting here. I lost my first son last month, seemingly to a cord wound around his neck, and a resultant perinal asphyxia. Taking him off life support was the most painful decision I’ve taken in my life.

    My wife and I were shattered but we know that he is in a much better place today, in the lap of god.

    These are hard times for us; with every little memory of the pregnancy and what could have been a beautiful parenthood, bringing tears in our eyes. Your story gave me strength and positive energy.

    God bless you..

  • Hi Ritesh,

    I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your son, before you really got to know him. It is never an easy experience to go through, but time does help. Feel free to message anytime!

  • Hi Emily, i read your whole story, and i dont feel alone , knowing theres people going trough the same boat as me.
    i too lost my first baby at 36 wks and my sec was born at 33 wks and past away at 2 months of live.
    With the first 1 i dont know exactly what all happend but she had an infection , and with my second she was born early due to polyhydramnion, because she had annulair pancreas and needed to be corrected when she was born. She had surgery at day 3 of life and that did go well, she was good untill she got NEC at 2 wks infection and needed to do surgerie again and lost 45cm of bowels.
    She lived 2 months, and i dont know why everything happend this way but i know God has another plan for me. My hubby wants a baby again so bad, but im just not sure ,i just want to wait and get test done on both of us to b sure nothings wrong with us , but it doesnt appear that way but just to be sure. U r so strong , and the courage u had to just get pregnant again. I dont think im ready yet to be pregnant, because i know im going to b worried alot ,im scared that all that may happen again.
    thq for sharing youre story.

  • Emily, I would like to tell you how comforting it is for me to read your story. My story is so very similar to yours. After 2 boys, we were overjoyed when we found out that we were having a girl but we couldn’t enjoy that moment for too long as they also told us that something was wrong. Our baby girl was born via c-section 3 months ago at 30 weeks and we lost her to hydrops fetalis 4 days later. Just like you, my husband and I quickly decided that we need to try again and I am currently in the two week wait after the first month of trying. Reading your story fills me with much hope and I can only pray that I too will get my happy ending.

  • Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my first born son at 24.5 weeks. I had high blood pressure and he wasn’t growing. It’s been 2 months already and I really want to try again. We had struggled for 2 years before getting pregnant by IUI. I just pray I can get pregnant spontaneously this time. I miss my angel, but I’m also so ready to be a mom. I too can only pray for a happy ending.

  • Thank for sharing your story!! I am also a mother with a special angel looking down on me. My son Braylon was a very sick micro-preemie and I made the decision to take him off of life support. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done and will ever do in my life. I sometimes search for stories online of women who have experienced an infant loss but have found their strength to keep going in this sometimes empty world. I am so glad I found your blog. Its been almost a year and a half since my loss and I think that I am ready to try again. I am going to be so scared this time around. Having to be in the NICU environment with a very sick baby and doing a lot of research online has exposed me to all that can go wrong in a pregnancy, which I would have never considered if Braylon was a healthy baby. I will start TTC next month and while I do think that my pregnancy will be healing I know that I will be so worried. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. You have shown me that I can keep going. I hardly ever post anywhere but your story of you loss and now your birth really touched me. When I saw the name Brielle it was like a confirmation. I have decided way before I read this post that if I had a girl the name I would most likely give her Brielle. Your daughter is so pretty and she is truly a little rainbow.

  • I have read your story about the loss of your sweet baby girl, I understand and feel for your loss.

    My experience was with my 26 year old, BUT he was still my baby, my only baby. My son’s father and i had divorced while I was pregnant with him and many years later I remarried. My new husband was jealous of my relationship with my son which did not become apparent to me until a year or two before my son, Kelley’s death. For this reason, our relationships were strained after having a good marriage for ten years.

    Kelley passed unexpectedly and I had a horrible time handling it, just like you it changed me and I have never been the same. My husband and I separated and divorced a short time after that. He never understood that I was no longer the me that I was before Kelley’s death.

    So it helps others other than young people who might have lost children in miscarriage (as I also experienced as well ) or small babies and young children, Your child is still your baby no matter their age and losing one changes you.

  • OH Elaine, I’m so sorry for your loss. A tragedy indeed, to lose a 26 year old. He sure is your baby, and always will be. I hope you can find peace.

  • Hi Emily! I just read your story and it answered a lot of my concerns. I had my daughter on February 23, 2016 and it was through emergency c section because the placenta sac had detached from the uterus. It was mainly through the blood clot i had from my previous miscarriage just a month before i conceived. If you don’t mind did you have a regular c section or was a classical (vertical) section? And with the next pregnancy was just 3 months after and it was indeed successful with another c section?

  • Hi Michelle,

    I’m so sorry for the struggles you’ve had with delivering. I was able to have a regular c-section each time. No complications there.

  • Hi Emily

    Thank you so much for your story.. We lost our angel on June 10th, within one month of her birth; she was born on May 11th… She was diagnosed with a malformation of the brain (vein of Galen malformation) that also affected her heart.. My pregnancy experience was exactly like yours so was the experience after. What made it worst is that she died in the US, (where we sought to give her the best care) and we are from the Caribbean.. I have another daughter so I was torn because I couldn’t be with both kids at once. We haven’t began to try again as yet because I wanted to be fully healed physically (c-section delivery) and mentally before going back down that road, as I am still struggling with the loss and haven’t even returned to work off maternity leave as yet. I consider every day that passes as a milestone because I am still here and making it through. But your story is very encouraging and I just thought I would reach out to give other people like us some comfort to know they are not alone.

  • I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through! I can’t even imagine being separated from your other children while going through such a tragedy. I’m so glad my story has given some comfort – you definitely aren’t alone! Every day is a gift and you will continue to get stronger, in more ways than one.

  • I am happy for you. I too lost my firstborn on 30th April 2016 . he was a baby boy and I undergoes cs , he was born alive and he also cried but he had a slightly problem with breathing so the doctors took him to the nurseries for a week he was doing fine but the day we we we’re supposed to leave the hospital I went but to the nursery and find the doctors putting him on oxygen and they told me he has started having difficult again and that evening I lost him it was a nightmare to me until this day course I can’t tell what really happened his death was a surprise to me. and am trying to conceive to get anther baby.

  • Thanks so much for sharing your story. I lossed my son 14.04.15 at 18weeks due to amniotic band syndrome that amputated a small section of his skull. I had natural birth, two days in labor. I was numbed by the pain an loss. My husband an I have not tried again, we decided to get therapy as I’m still hurting. We would like to try again when I’m emotionally ready. Reading your stories has given me hope. Your kids are beautiful once again Thanks!

  • I am so so sorry for all you’ve been through Aneekah! I’m so glad you were brave enough to accept therapy for the two of you. I hope it’s helping. You’ll know when you’re ready to try again. I wish you the best of luck, and happiness!!

  • Congrats on your beautiful rainbow. Do you mind me asking if you had any complications with this pregnancy? Did they let you go full term or was your section done earlier?

  • Thank you, Kathy! The only complication I had with my last pregnancy was that baby seemed to be growing a little slowly for a time. It made us nervous, but she caught up and was perfectly healthy. I was nearly full-term. As usual with c-sections, they like to schedule them before the due date.

  • Thanks for your story mama.you are one strong mom.well,your story is typically mine.just timings.I lost my angel a month ago ,same issue or related as yours,fluid in the brain and heart defect.she was born via c section at 36 weeks on 14th Nov 2016 and grew wings 38hours.we had been alerted n like your brother our doctor was fair enough to take us through the congenital issues and what to expect.we chose non intervention and we got a chance to hold her.rest in peace angel Eliana. Am looking forward to start TTC after I heal for like 3 months,not to replace our firstborn,I miss and want to have her sister or brother .

  • Hello,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and I lost our first child at 37 weeks, just 8 days ago… Our sweet baby girl Vera Sofía.

    These days have been the toughest of our lives. Everything was perfect during the whole pregancy until I didn’t feel her move and went to the ER on a Sunday morning. They did an ultrasound and all was good so we went home. As I still didn’t feel her move we returned in the evening and they did another ultrasound… our baby girl no longer had a heart beat and had become our sweet angel. Two ours later I had a c section and met her; she was/is just beautiful and perfect. The doctors don’t know what happened and we are praying to God for strength and acceptance.

    The sadness, pain, and emptiness is immense, but each day the air becomes a little lighter to breath. I am trying to look forward to things to not feel stuck in this emotional state, but I am afraid at the same time to let go of the grief. Vera will always be my first child and I’ll always love her.

  • What you are feeling is so totally normal at this stage of the game, Natalia. I’m extremely sorry for your loss. Vera definitely will always be your first child. Try not to feel guilty about whatever you decide!!

  • Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I gives me so much Hope. I lost my first daughter -my pretty girl Kia in November.She was born in September and lived for 47 days fighting really hard. I really wish to get pregnant soon, but since I had an emergency c-section the doctors are asking me to wait for another 6 months before trying to conceive and that looks like a very long time to me. It is already 6 months and I have healed well. How did you cope up with another conception so shortly after your c-section? Did your doctor allow you? I don’t care about what the doctors say and your success story gives me strength.

  • I’m so sorry for your recent loss, Varinder! Every doctor and situation is different. Mine didn’t ask me to wait long to get pregnant again, but only you and your doctor know what your body can handle. Waiting can be hard, but healing can also take place during that time as well. I felt well enough in the head to get pregnant again within 3 months, but if you read my entire story, you’ll learn that I had ups and downs. Getting pregnant again wasn’t all smooth and perfect. In the end it was worth it though! I wish you the best of luck!

  • Your story gives me so much hope for the future! I have a 14 year old son and was due to have a baby girl August 5th, but went into preterm labor at 23 weeks and delivered my baby girl on 4/10/17. She lived for an hour then her little heart just stopped beating. I felt like mine stopped beating that day too. I waited 14 years to have a second child and my family and I were ecstatic about this little lady. My hubby named our daughter Nevaeh (the word Heaven spelled backwards) since that is where our little angel is. I feel guilty wanting to conceive again. This is definitely not a replacement baby, but rather completion to our family. I’m just terrified for anything like this to happen again.

  • I completely get where you’re coming from, Shernita! Getting pregnant again definitely doesn’t have to mean a replacement baby so don’t beat yourself up or feel guilty for something you shouldn’t. You need to do what you need to do to take care of you and find happiness again! Sometimes loving another little one helps with that!

  • Thank you for sharing your story. We lost our little boy last monday. Its to recent, & to painfull. Your blog has helped me understand, my situation a bit more. I know we will never forget our baby boy Julius. Reading your blog gives me hope for a better view on a decision of having more babies in the future. Please keep bloging, you give people who have been through the same situation as you hope. Thank you again.

  • Did you think that 3-4 months was good time to have another one? My doctor is telling me to wait a year but I do t wanna wait a year. It was as well an emergency c-section. I’m wondering what you doctor told you. Also I as well lost a baby girl in August 26. I as well had to disconnect her I feel at guilt sometimes but I feel like I did the right choice for my baby girl Annalise 💛

  • I’m so sorry for your loss, Waikiria! My doctor didn’t tell me I needed to wait any longer than I did. I went in for a follow up appointment and I was healing up nicely so I got the go ahead. Everybody is different, so maybe go in and check again after some time has passed, and see how your body is doing. Best of luck!

  • I had a stillbirth between my 3rd and 5th pregnancies. It was VERY hard emotionally during that last pregnancy. And I did experience PPD after the last baby even though he was totally sweet and I was so happy to have him. I could strongly relate to your story. Thanks for posting it.

  • I completely understand the PPD, even though you had a healthy baby, Karen. So many emotions that go into all of this, and there’s no right way to do it all. Thanks for sharing!

  • Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me so much to finally read something I could relate to and was more similar to my own feelings and situation. My son Hendrix was born on November 9, 2017 at almost 42 weeks pregnant everything seemed completely healthy and perfect until later in my labour. We too only had our sweet boy for a few short days. I miss him terribly. I also had an emergency c section to recover from and it was nice to have someone to relate to in how hard that is all together.

    We are thinking of trying again soon, part of me really wants to and the other part is worried still. I know it will be a challenging pregnancy, I’m just hoping I can keep the worry at bay as much as possible.

  • I’m so glad you found some comfort in knowing you aren’t alone in your feelings, Arielle! I’m sorry you’ve had such a loss as well and hope you have peace on your journey!

  • Hi Emily, I posted a comment just a little over three years ago, after a year of TTC again, nothing was happening, we ended up having to go through IVF. My husband was suffering with stress and anxiety which impacted on his fertility. Losing our baby girl really affected him. We successfully conceived after the first Attempt of IVF and we now have our beautiful rainbow baby boy. He has made life so wonderful but I still miss my baby girl, I have three boys now and I desperately yearn for my daughter at times. After 3 years I’m still grieving. My boys are my absolute world but I still feel like my family is incomplete, the boys really wanted a sister too and I don’t know if we should try again.

  • I’m so happy you were able to have a healthy baby boy, Vanessa! Not having a little girl to raise is definitely a tough one, and deciding to have another baby is a very personal decision you and your husband need to face together. I wish you the best of luck!

  • Hi emily! Im so glad i found your story, i can totally relate the pain youve been through. I also lost my baby stillbirth just this March 28, 2018 via emergency c-section because my baby boys heartbeat stop while on labor due to tight nuchal cord, it was so hard that after 9months of waiting finally i can hold him doesnt happened, i did not even had the chance to hug and kiss him. I was so misserable, ive been blaming myself the whole time. Until my OB advice to conceive again at May 28, 2018, i was so shocked that it will be only 2months after a major surgery, maybe because my ob can see how fast my body is healing. I still cant decide wether im going to get pregnant again or ill wait another year. Your story will be my inspiration, i cant think of anything after i lost my first born until i read this. It lighten me up. I also question God why, and although theres no answer yet, i know now that He has plans for me, Maybe just not yet. Thankyou so much for your story may God bless you, Brielle and family ❤️

  • I’m so glad you were brave enough to write, Ren. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. This is still so recent for you so don’t feel rushed into making any decisions. Give yourself time to heal and grieve, and you’ll know when you’re ready!! I wish you all the best! xoxo

  • I randomly found your blog and read through a few posts. I relate so closely with your story… I went into preterm labor and delivered my son (our firstborn) at 28 weeks on 6/26/18. He got a rare stomach infection and unfortunately passed away 12 days later 7/8/18. The feeling of losing a child is something no one should ever endure. I have been looking for hope, inspiration, etc to help me get through. Your story has helped- so thank you for sharing. I also love that your children have red hair- my husband is a red head and i have always hoped our children would be too. 🙂 Again, thank you for sharing your journey. It helps me to see we are just at the beginning of ours, but there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

  • I’m so sorry about your baby boy, Kayce. That’s such a hard thing to go through and will live with you forever. It will get easier and you will be okay. I’m glad you found comfort in my story. Please reach out if you ever need to.

  • I found your blog as I’ve been obsessed with infant loss after the loss of my son on 14 May 2018. His heart just stopped during labor and no known cause after a textbook pregnancy. Reading your story has given me so much hope.I ma 36 and feeling like am running out of time. I want o be able to mother my children while i still have energy. Though my doctor initially told me to wait for one year due to an emergency c-section delivery, she later agreed to reduce the time to six months. It is now almost three months and i have decided i can no longer wait. As soon as i hit the three month mark, will try during my next cycle. My heart and mind feel ready and i know it is what is right for me. Am praying for God to heal my womb fully both physically and spiritually to ready me for another baby. Stories like yous give me hope.

  • I really feel for you Chilombo! I’m so happy for you that your doctor gave you clearance to start trying soon. I hope that helps to heal your heart. Know you are not alone!

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